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Monthly Archives: June 2018

Stress Management

Parenting is a hard job and sometimes we become overwhelmed by the challenges we face. If a happy home for your family is important to you, you will find a way to face those challenges.Try some of the suggestions below:

Don’t put your kids to bed late and hope they will sleep later the next morning.That does not always work and you usually end up with a child that wakes up at the normal time, who is cranky for the entire day.

Instill thankfulness and gratitude in your children. Be sure they thank people who help them. Involve your children in writing thank you notes for gifts and kind deeds that are done for them. (Young children can tell you what they want you to write and older children can write notes on their own).

When your children are doing homework, provide a comfortable, well-lit space near enough for them to ask for help if they need it. Check in with them and see that the work is actually getting done, and offer positive reinforcement.

Establish regular routines, which children both need and thrive on. Uncertainty can make anyone nervous, but children are especially vulnerable to the stress and anxiety that can come with not knowing what is happening. Regular routines will help keep your kids happy and confident.

Use books or other resources to help answer your child’s difficult questions.Find a fact-based resource that helps you explain the answer(s)effectively and age-specific. (You can find a book on almost any topic these days).

Read often to your children, as long as they will allow you to. From picture books when they are small, to chapter books when they are older, reading creates a bonding experience you are both sure to enjoy. Ask your older children to take turns reading.

Make sure that your children understand what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior. Sometimes children can mis-read your messages. Explain in clear terms what it is that you expect of him or her, then ask them to explain it back to you, if necessary.

Every Child Should Hear

I AM PROUD OF YOU

As parents and caring adults, applaud the efforts of the child, not the fact that they may have achieved or not achieved. Children crave your support and blessings, and most of their behavior is towards gaining your love, approval and acceptance. I always tell my children, “Remember it is about the participating and not the winning that matters. The very fact that you are participating in the event is good enough for me”. When they tell you how they have fared, tell them how proud you are of them. Don’t compare their efforts with those of other children.

By constantly praising their efforts, children develop a healthy attitude towards their self esteem. Make them aware that will always hold the pole position as far as you are concerned, no matter what. I know it can be difficult sometimes but keep on encouraging them, and one day they will surprise you with what they have achieved and can achieve in life.

I AM SORRY

Have you ever told your child that you are sorry? Do it when you have made a mistake and see how they tell you that it is OK and that it wasn’t your fault.

To them you are perfect and when you admit that you are wrong you are showing them that you are human and you too do make mistakes. But most importantly you are teaching them that you have the courage to accept your mistake and face up to your imperfections. Accepting your own imperfections requires honesty and by apologizing to them you are helping them to learn that it is alright to be imperfect.

They learn to take ownership of their mistakes. Kids learn a lot from what we say, what we do and most importantly who we are.

I FORGIVE YOU

There is no point in teaching children to own up to their mistakes if we don’t forgive them. By saying “I forgive you” kids learn that it is alright to admit to mistakes.

No one is perfect. As parents, carers and guardians we all say things we don’t mean or do things that we shouldn’t. We waste time, break promises, forget important things and mess up. We don’t fully meet up to the expectation placed on us, including our own. Children are no different. Like us, they are humans too.

No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes and as a parent or guardian you have to find the right balance between having the children face up to the consequences of their mistakes and remember that they have feelings. It is up to you to instill in them that they are loveable despite their weaknesses and imperfections. Forgive them, don’t condemn them.

“Mock your children as they struggle and they will learn never to share their struggles with you”

I AM LISTENING TO YOU

Always listen to what your children are saying. It may be a lot of rubbish or seem unimportant to you but for them it may be the most important thing they have done for the day. How will you know your child if you never listen to what they have to say? You might even learn a thing or two from them. I do.

Your interest in what they have to say will ensure your child that you are interested in them. You will get an insight into their personality and who they are on the inside. Always reflect back to them what they have said to you as this is their confirmation that you have been listening to them. If necessary you can then guide, advice, praise and encourage them accordingly.

As they become teenagers, it becomes even more difficult to get through to them. If you have always been on a good communication level, you will be able to influence them and help them in making their own decisions about situations.

Always listen earnestly to what your children have to say, no matter what. If you don’t listen to their little stuff when they are small, they will not tell you about the big stuff when they grow up because to them all of it has been big stuff.

THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

We all learn from our mistakes. Likewise children also learn from their mistakes. Let them take responsibility for their decisions, wise or not and let them learn from them. This not only shows your trust in them to do what is right but also you are teaching them to lead their own lives.

Don’t solve their problems for them, but give them your support; let them take responsibility and guide them through. They will quickly learn what actions have positive results and which ones have a negative one.

Kids have Favorite Time

When the atmosphere of the family becomes unsound, it is better create quality time to each of our kid. Our children crave for attention. The reason that we need to give them our undivided attention is for them to feel secure. Whatever happens, we should see to it that we are always there for them.

As parents, we can ease our kids’ fears, worries and hurts. When we give them our full attention, they feel safe to open up and share with us their worst fears and pains.

As parents we should show our selfless love to our children especially when they are still very young. They demand more of our time, energy and patience. But we also need to set boundaries. We need to learn how to say no when things get out of hand. We might feel drained. Failing to resolve the unmet needs of our kids might lead to resentment.

We need to be spontaneous in building bonds with our kids. Once our kids feel that we neglect them, it is difficult to repair the emotional gap that we created. When we give our kids our undivided attention, we should focus our minds to them not elsewhere. Kids are very sensitive. They can easily sense our uneasiness.

It’s also a lot easier to spend quality time with our kids when we are all doing together something we enjoy.

As a single mom, I see to it that I can spend quality time with my kids despite my tight schedule. Raising kids alone is not an easy task.

During my vacant time, I see to it that we can really bond. Our quality time usually involves internet surfing and playing online games, biking, dancing and going to gymnasium together. Sometimes, we watch cartoon shows together. Even if I do not like to watch these types of shows, but for the sake of my kids, I learn to enjoy the show because they love it.

Not all the times we give to our kids are quality times. But no matter how little the time we spend with our kids, the bottom line is the quality and not the quantity.

Grateful Families

Grateful families spend quality time together. Children need to be held by a loving family in order to feel nurtured and supported, which in turn, will show them how to love and care for others. By spending quality time together, free of distractions, kids of all ages will bond more deeply with parents while learning empathy at the same time. Without empathy, there can be no gratitude.

Grateful families are generous. When people are fulfilled and thankful for all that they have, they are more giving. Their cup is full and they want to share their wealth of love and gratitude with others. The more often you give, the more often you will want to give again.

Grateful families practice gratitude daily. It’s not always innate, so parents need to teach children by practicing grateful behaviour in everyday interactions. It will become a habit for kids when they see it modelled by their parents. Encourage children to volunteer to help those less fortunate, to appreciate what they have, and to be giving and thoughtful to their friends. Teach them the concept of “pay it forward.”

Grateful families know the value of hard work and discipline. Kids must learn to work for their achievements, whether they’re doing chores around the house, taking care of a pet, or doing a school project. It will be easier to feel thankful for what they have, when they have put their own blood, sweat and tears into it. Parents must resist the urge to give their kids everything – material or physical – and always discipline them with love. Remember, you’re their parent and guardian, not their best friend, so be consistent with discipline to earn their respect.