I AM PROUD OF YOU
As parents and caring adults, applaud the efforts of the child, not the fact that they may have achieved or not achieved. Children crave your support and blessings, and most of their behavior is towards gaining your love, approval and acceptance. I always tell my children, “Remember it is about the participating and not the winning that matters. The very fact that you are participating in the event is good enough for me”. When they tell you how they have fared, tell them how proud you are of them. Don’t compare their efforts with those of other children.
By constantly praising their efforts, children develop a healthy attitude towards their self esteem. Make them aware that will always hold the pole position as far as you are concerned, no matter what. I know it can be difficult sometimes but keep on encouraging them, and one day they will surprise you with what they have achieved and can achieve in life.
I AM SORRY
Have you ever told your child that you are sorry? Do it when you have made a mistake and see how they tell you that it is OK and that it wasn’t your fault.
To them you are perfect and when you admit that you are wrong you are showing them that you are human and you too do make mistakes. But most importantly you are teaching them that you have the courage to accept your mistake and face up to your imperfections. Accepting your own imperfections requires honesty and by apologizing to them you are helping them to learn that it is alright to be imperfect.
They learn to take ownership of their mistakes. Kids learn a lot from what we say, what we do and most importantly who we are.
I FORGIVE YOU
There is no point in teaching children to own up to their mistakes if we don’t forgive them. By saying “I forgive you” kids learn that it is alright to admit to mistakes.
No one is perfect. As parents, carers and guardians we all say things we don’t mean or do things that we shouldn’t. We waste time, break promises, forget important things and mess up. We don’t fully meet up to the expectation placed on us, including our own. Children are no different. Like us, they are humans too.
No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes and as a parent or guardian you have to find the right balance between having the children face up to the consequences of their mistakes and remember that they have feelings. It is up to you to instill in them that they are loveable despite their weaknesses and imperfections. Forgive them, don’t condemn them.
“Mock your children as they struggle and they will learn never to share their struggles with you”
I AM LISTENING TO YOU
Always listen to what your children are saying. It may be a lot of rubbish or seem unimportant to you but for them it may be the most important thing they have done for the day. How will you know your child if you never listen to what they have to say? You might even learn a thing or two from them. I do.
Your interest in what they have to say will ensure your child that you are interested in them. You will get an insight into their personality and who they are on the inside. Always reflect back to them what they have said to you as this is their confirmation that you have been listening to them. If necessary you can then guide, advice, praise and encourage them accordingly.
As they become teenagers, it becomes even more difficult to get through to them. If you have always been on a good communication level, you will be able to influence them and help them in making their own decisions about situations.
Always listen earnestly to what your children have to say, no matter what. If you don’t listen to their little stuff when they are small, they will not tell you about the big stuff when they grow up because to them all of it has been big stuff.
THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
We all learn from our mistakes. Likewise children also learn from their mistakes. Let them take responsibility for their decisions, wise or not and let them learn from them. This not only shows your trust in them to do what is right but also you are teaching them to lead their own lives.
Don’t solve their problems for them, but give them your support; let them take responsibility and guide them through. They will quickly learn what actions have positive results and which ones have a negative one.